He just is - and there is no separation. I am in his midst. God loving me. I am begotten from love. Contrition, compassion, earnest longing for God.
"God wishes to be known, and is pleased that we should rest in him' for all that is below him does nothing to satisfy us. And this is why, intil all that is made seems as nothing, no soul can be at rest. When a soul sets all at nothing for love, to have him who is everything that is good, then it is able to have spiritual rest." - Julian of Norwich
These words echo to me as I wrestle with God over my life. It's mine!!!!!!!! I become a fearful 2 year old who has had her blankie thrown in the washer. It's coming back, clean, warm and cozy and she knows it at some level. Yet, when it's slipping from her hands, she fears. She fears her comfort may not come back and then how will she fall asleep, how can she be at rest? How will she survive!???!??!! Her mom, her most trusted caregiver taking it away? Is she being decieved?
The more I tighten my grip on life, the more it tears apart, becoming a filthy rag.
The strength & tenacity I have is not meant for stubbornly holding on to what's not mine.
The strength I have is meant to bear a weight of someone else's determination...and do it well, with gladness and with praise and thanksgiving. The strength I have is to submit under the weight of the Holy Spirit who presses into me and presses out of me who I really am. In Him, I am.
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